Joni Mitchell released her studio album Blue in June 1971, during a period of great emotional turbulence in her life. She wrote “I had a year of great sorrow. Or maybe two or three. In that transitional period, I felt transparent and was extremely distraught about many things. I had disturbing nightmares or dreams where all of the problems of the world descended on me”.

This album is testament to Mitchell’s dignity and self-worth. Its ten tracks chart her experiences, ranging from joy amid moments of hurt and anger, through a carefree Mediterranean frolic, to the depths of drug addiction and the loss of a child.

For me – and for my patient Orla – the most important track is A Case of You. [click to listen] Mitchell probably created it in memory of her past relationship with Leonard Cohen. It is deeply expressive of both ambivalence and power.

Mitchell is acutely aware that this relationship will be fraught with pain: ‘I met a woman/She had a mouth like yours/She knew your life/She knew your devils and your deeds/And she said “Go to him, stay with him if you can/But be prepared to bleed”’.  She mocks her lover’s patriarchal pretensions ‘Just before our love got lost you said/”I am as constant as a northern star”/And I said/”Constantly in the darkness/Where’s that at?/If you want me, I’ll be in the bar”’.

Yet she has a profound sense of connection, channelling the poet Rainer Rilke as she remembers ‘that time you told me you said/”Love is touching souls”’.  And then comes her life-affirming chorus:

‘Oh, you’re in my blood like holy wine

You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling

Still I’d be on my feet

I would still be on my feet’. 

Here Mitchell matches words and music emphatically, strumming single chords to each word of the phrase, ‘on my feet.’ 

A Case of You is about  holding on to her sense of dignity, no matter what this relationship may throw at her. Mitchell engages with the process of sitting with pain until it offers self-awareness. This song gives ample evidence of sadness; but ultimately it is a story of self-worth.

Orla has had a very difficult life, with experiences of drug misuse and consequent time in prison, and a series of violent, abusive relationships. She is currently living alone; contacting her two daughters when she feels confident enough, but usually pursuing a solitary existence. I ask her what she does to feel safe when she is on her own. She tells me that music is her most trusted companion, and that  Blue is her go-to album. It reminds her of the many mistakes she has made in her relationships, the consequent sadness and guilt and – still at times – the sense of fear of things going wrong once again.

When I ask her what benefit she gets from listening to the album, she tells me that she draws immeasurable strength from Mitchell’s example: her sense not of victimhood but of self-worth, of resilience and persistence even when life is at its bleakest. ‘If Joni can survive all that’, Orla tells me, ‘Then so can I. I have the right to a good life’.

Although at times precarious, Orla’s belief in her innate dignity remains intact, enhanced by her musical connection with Joni Mitchell[1]. 

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[1] You can read more here about how artistic expression helps our dignity.